Warning: I am NOT an eloquent writer, I just have thoughts (and many times they end up in parenthesis...sorry) that hopefully encourage you (or maybe make you shake your head and say "who gave that women a computer and how does she have any idea how to create a blog"). OK, I got that out.
"Wow...you are wonder woman."
That is the line I hear the most frequently these days (when I make it out of my house). After having the twins (I also have a 5 and 3 year old) and my husband leaving to work out of town during the weekdays, I welcomed ANY and ALL of these comments I could get. It fueled my fire, made me feel like no one else could do this...made me feel like I was something else.
UNTIL...one day I heard it and wanted to bawl. I wanted to shake the person that said it and tell them "I DON 'T want to be wonder woman and you probably don't REALLY want to either". I wanted to switch places with the person (after I ran them over with the double stroller they just called a limo), because after all their life had to be easier in some way than mine. I didn't want to do it all, stay strong, feed another baby, take on all the discipline with my preschoolers, and try to feed myself (ok, who's kidding...I keep myself fed on stress foods).
Have you ever heard the line "God won't give you more than you can handle"? That line is NOT found anywhere associated with the Bible. There are some major flaws in that theology (#1: that God gives us bad stuff...we could go round and round on that all day; #2: He doesn't want us to experience just enough to make us comfortable and then stop). God wants us to come to Him. God wants us to fully depend on Him and rely on Him for all of our needs.
I don't want to be Wonder Woman. I don't have to be Wonder Woman. I don't have to puff up when I hear people say "wow, better you than me" or "I certainly couldn't handle having my husband gone weekly". I don't want to rely on what I can handle or what is perceived of me to be able to handle.
I want to know that whatever I am going through, whether a blessing that's hard (these babies of mine ARE amazing blessings) or a trial that is unbearable, I can count on someone greater than me to help me. Someone greater than me to supply what I need. Someone greater than me who is present with me. Someone who is also hurting, struggling, and kneeling with me desiring to give me His help.
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen."
(Philippians 4:11-13, 19-20 ESV
My 3 and 4 (at the time) year old, meeting the twins.
