Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Let My Life Be Lifted High

Spiritually I have been on somewhat of a roller coaster. I spent the first 5 years of marriage ministering to some AMAZING high school students, who are now, great friends and people who are going to change the world in many ways. It was honestly the highlight of my life so far.

As life was changing, so was the direction God was taking my husband and I. I resigned from my teaching position, quit leading Young Life, became a mom, and supported my husband in his adventure of a new company. However, through these changes and over the course of the past 4 years I haven't been able to shake the feeling that there is SO MUCH MORE that God calls me to. I know it, I read about it, I listen to great sermons about it, I pray about it, I spoke about it at a women's retreat, I have a deep desire for it...I just don't feel like I should be doing any of it right now.

It sounds easy, right, keep plugging away at being an inspiring mom, a supportive, loving wife, and a child of God looking for random ways to minister to those that come into my path. However, I just feel like there is so much more. I am trying to be content with where God has me (although I am always thinking about where He is going to take me). I am trying to be the best mother that I can be to my children (feeling like I fail most of the time). I desire to be the most supportive wife on the planet (definitely fail in that category). I feel like I am so open and willing to learn and get so much from each moment He teaches me, I just feel like I sit on the wisdom He gives me at this point in my life.

Patience. Contentment. Willingness. Faithfulness. Prolonged Passion.

I will continue to learn great truths, filing them away, waiting for the moments that God asks me to use them to change lives, speak truth, or adequately portray the wisdom He has given me. I know He has a purpose for what He does. I know He has a time in which He desires to show His glory. I know He has the perfect way to portray this through me. During this time, I desire to remain patient, content, willing, faithful, passionate, and open to what He has to teach me NOW.

Help me Lord to wait on YOU!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Making Progress Around Here

As I was walking through the isles of the grocery store today, I almost had to stop and do a little victory dance for myself. I quickly realized that I live in a small town and someone I know would be watching, so I decided to celebrate with you guys instead

*Insert victory dance here*

So, you might be wondering why exactly a victory dance was necessary. Well as I looked down at my shopping cart this afternoon, the progress I have made over the course of the last 6 months was overwhelming and I was so proud of how far I have come. Before having kids (and if I am going to be honest...even after) my grocery cart consisted of, well, anything fully processed and absolutely terrible for you. Mac n' Cheese, Top Ramen (for the hubs), cereal (and not the good kind, folks), chips, candy, you name it...it was in my cart. Me, my body, and my husband were doing just fine (or should I say we thought we were doing fine) with it and functioned pretty well; UNTIL the combination of pregnancy and hitting 30 were involved in the equation.

To some of you, it might be pretty disgusting that we would live that way, and to you, I admire the fact that you choose differently. It was/and still is a bit harder for me and my husband. I have analyzed and pondered over the "reasons why" for countless hours, but that's another post for another day (or maybe for a counseling session).

Anywhoo, I put my foot down (pretty lightly) in October and started working out 3-4 days a week for 30 minutes a day. I kept telling myself and others that I didn't want to "diet" because I wanted to make a lifestyle change. I think that was initially an excuse for me to continue to eat the same and hope that exercising minimally would do the trick. Well, month by month went by and I wasn't able to see much progress. I would evaluate myself at the end of each month and make changes to my eating and exercise habits. I started working out more, cutting out treats, eliminating colored drinks, and working out more (I know I already said that). I am now to the point of celebrating a couple different paths of progress!!!! By no means have I hit my goals or do I eat everything I should all the time. However, I am adamantly writing down everything I put into my body, working out 6-7 days a week for 60-90 minutes at a time, AND my grocery cart is full of fruits, veggies, flour, eggs, etc. I am passing up complete isles in the grocery store without a second thought (they would be the ice-cream isle and the snacks/chips isle). I am walking by the candy bars in the check out line thinking "yuk, I worked out so hard today and eating 2 of those things would cancel out everything I have accomplished". Seriously, friends, I almost started crying today at the grocery store when I realized the things I was thinking to myself, how much work I have been putting in, and the choices I have been making. This is a huge accomplishment for me and nothing celebrated it better than a victory dance.

I am soooo excited for where I have come and where my family and I are going. I feel better about myself (granted I have a LONG way to go) and my body feels better about itself (if that's possible). Yay for progress!!!!

Thanks for letting me celebrate!
*More victory dances here*